Say What? Pay A Buck
Say What? Pay A Buck!
For four years, I served as a vice president for a Dallas based marketing and advertising firm. One of my responsibilities was to teach monthly sales training classes with up to 50 students at a time. Our product was very, very expensive, and by no means an easy sale. The clients were very particular, as they were owners of large companies accustomed to doing business with salespeople with a highly skilled level of communication.
During our monthly training sessions, one skill that was taught, practiced and encouraged was the ability to more effectively communicate by using the proper vocabulary. Words were eliminated that created a negative connotation in the subconscious, as well as foul language and words considered vulgar. Think before you speak. Increase your connection with your client by speaking properly. Listen, ponder, and then respond. They were taught not to adhere to the old school thinking of mirror what your client does, that if the client uses vulgar language, you should too. Our findings were the polar opposite of this theory: if the salesperson took great care in their use of language and exercised a professional vocabulary, the client responded favorably. Most felt their salesperson would take great care of their account, which naturally resulted in more sales.
Many of the students asked what constituted improper language. I would usually reply, if you have to repent about it, dont use it, or what would your parents say to you about that word? or, how would you feel about your child repeating it? These discussions usually came up in role-playing situations. In many cases that would settle it, yet I knew that these examples were just part of bringing students to a higher awareness.
I knew there had to be a better way to increase the awareness and make superior vocabulary a habit. After a lot of thought and attempting various exercises, I began the Say What? Pay A Buck! program.
Its very simple. At the beginning of each training, I would detail the highlights of the program. No vulgar or foul language is allowed, no negative connotations, or negative words. If the guideline was violated and a student was caught by a classmate, the student would Pay a buck! Each training participant was given two choices:
1.If they didnt want to participate, they must state the intention up front and be excluded, no harm no foul. 2.The fine (bucks) collected would be paid out in one of two ways: the class could reward each other for superior vocabulary during the training or, at the end of the week, the fines would be donated to a charity.
The results were interesting: I never had anyone decline to be part of the Say What? Pay A Buck! program, and about 90% of all the training classes would donate the fines to a charity.
The program then expanded into a situational awareness campaign, which placed emphasis on certain situations that would arise during the training. In turn, the guidelines of the Say What? Pay A Buck! program produced some significant skills resulting in each class graduating with a higher purpose and confidence level.
So out comes the Buck Bucket, which is a large one-gallon glass jar with a handle and lid, deposited in the middle of the training room (a constant reminder during the weeklong training). In case you were wondering, the best class using this system paid nearly $75.00 -- in one week!
Now that the basic idea has been explained, here are the specific guidelines for the Say What? Pay A Buck! Program:
Words subject to a Buck:
Any vulgar words
Yeah
Yeah but
But
Whatever
Problem
Try
Possibly
Maybe
I dunno
If
Hey
Hey you
Can't
I'm busy
Um
Add your own
Situations subject to a Buck:
Complaining
Negativity
Bad attitude
Justifying
Laying blame
Arriving late for the training
Being late from a break
Not following specific instructions and/or guidelines Add your own
Words subject to a Reward:
Appreciate
Respect
Agree
Okay
Recommend
Because
Yes
And
Challenge
Congratulations
Add your own
Situations subject to a Reward:
Makes requests instead of complaining
Gets it
Great presentation skills
Great communications skills
Displays extraordinary listening skills
Sets good examples
Accepts responsibility
Going out of the way to help others
Displays out-of-the-box thinking
Has written goals (and proves it)
Admits mistakes
Add your own
Here are some examples of how the program would work:
#1. In communicating with a potential client during a role playing situation, the salesperson continually used the word but. Pay a buck! for the word but, yet what do we replace it with? Usually the words and or yet would certainly suffice as a replacement for but.
#2. A student would exclaim to the class that he/she has a problem. Pay a buck! for the word problem. Replace problem with challenge. A negative connotation is attached to the word problem, while challenge has a positive connotation. This is a much better use of our vocabulary and demonstrates a higher level of communication and expression.
#3. A student walks into the training class and registers a complaint. Complainers suffer the consequences and Pay a buck! They are asked to replace the complaint with a request. This obliges the student to abandon the downward spiral of negative communication and make a specific request of what they want (or see improved).
#4. During the middle of a role play, the student makes a mistake and immediately justifies his/her actions or attempts to lay blame on another. They must Pay a buck! for justification or laying blame. The proper action would be to accept responsibility and move on.
#5. During any communication, a student uses any foul language. Pay a buck!
Other guidelines:
Make sure that all participants agree, in advance, to participate in the Say What? Pay A Buck! program.
Some of my clients may feel that the Say What? Pay A Buck! program might be a little too much for their group. (This rarely happens). If this is the case, take it in a different direction. Purchase Monopoly money or funny money for your group and initiate the program. Distribute ten bucks in $1 bills to each person at the beginning of your training or event. It will be very useful in watching the Buck Bucket increase in size by the hour. Remember, the more bucks paid, the more significant the increase in awareness.
You can purchase inexpensive phony $1 bills from:
Creative Presentation Resources, Inc
1.800.308.0399
www.presentationresources.net
Utilize an on-site Gratitude Board or Acknowledgment Board for verbal rewards. A simple flip chart would suffice for this and post the results on the wall of the training room.
If youre not using funny money, your bucks can also be used for: Student drawing one winner for the training class Training class party have pizza and drinks delivered to the class Quarterly party for all participants & their spouse/partners
My personal preference for donating bucks is to this wonderful charitable organization: Angel Flight South Central
http://www.angelflightsc.org
What is Angel Flight?
If you or someone you know needs non-emergency transportation to medical treatment but cannot afford it, or if they cannot fly on public transportation for health reasons, or if public transportation is not readily available in your area, contact the AFSC Office for information about Angel Flight and it's ability to assist. It is their goal that no one forgo treatment because of cost or inaccessibility to their required healthcare facility.
Watch out for the class Buck Cop. This person is usually a participant that is more concerned with catching a violator than paying attention to the training curriculum and content. Each class has one, so make sure they stay focused on the task at hand and do not disturb the training.
Say What? Pay A Buck! can be easily implemented into the mainstream of any company or corporation. It can be a regular method of operation, something new and different that most will embrace. Remember, many corporations are void of personal development theyre spending all of their time on professional development. The Say What? Pay a Buck! program touches both sides of a persons development.
The subconscious is a very powerful tool that our clients, family and friends carry as well as ourselves. Take to heart the information shared throughout the Say What? Pay A Buck! program. Rid yourself of foul language. Be sensitive to what you say and how you say it. Keep your awareness at a heightened level until superior vocabulary becomes a habit and a mainstay of who you are and what you represent.
Say What? Pay A Buck! is an inspiring blueprint for what we can all do to rediscover the values that our teachers and parents have taught us since we were children communicate with the utmost of professionalism and vocabulary with our friends, family, neighbors and clients. This type of practice places you on the less crowded path; you separate yourself from the masses and all whom you communicate with will see the distinction between you. . .and the rest of the world.
Chuck Bauer is an accomplished speaker, writer, and author. He has performed hundreds of trainings and workshops throughout North America. He is a member of the National Speakers Association, Coach University, and Attraction University. When he is not training or writing, he is a committed bodybuilder and private pilot. Find out more about Chuck and the Enspiron Training Company at www.enspiron.cc.
Finding Direction: Finding Passion Series - 2 of 3Skye ThomasFinding Direction
Finding Passion Series - 2 of 3
In order to find the right direction for ourselves, we have to do some soul searching. What is it I want to accomplish? Why? What kind of person do I want to become? Is it so weird to be in our thirties or forties and ask ourselves, So, what do I want to be when I grow up? What would make us jump out of bed excited and motivated to get the day started? Before getting into these big questions, we need to find out the roots behind our decisions. What motivates us to choose what we choose?
If you could create anything you wanted without regards to money, time, or education... what would you do? What would you create if you could wave a magic wand and it would appear? What would you have? Think on that for awhile... anything at all.... Would you create vacations and the ability to travel all over the world? Would you create an education fund for your children? Would you create your dream home? Would you create a worry free retirement? Would you create a new wardrobe? Would you create music, books, movies, art, medicine? Write down a list of things. Don't worry about how far fetched they might sound. Just make a list of all the things you'd do and create if you had unlimited means to do so.
Why would you create those things? Of all the things you would magically create, why would you want to create them? What's the root cause for you to want to create the list of things you'd create? What do you gain by creating those things? Do you want to create those things in order to be free? Secure? Independent? Understood? An entrepreneur? Loved? Creative? An entertainer? An adventurer? What is it you get to become by creating the things on your list? What kind of person would you be if you were the kind of person living out that list and creating those things?
Moving further back into the roots of what you are or wish to become, if you could be anything, what would you want to be? Don't choose job descriptions, choose traits, aspects. What are you now? That's right, what would you want to be, not who would you want to be. If you died tomorrow, what would people say about you? Were you a healer? Brave? Organized? A great parent? An intellectual? A musician? An artist? Thoughtful? Kind? A supporter of dreams? What would you want them to say about you? How would you like to be seen? Sit with these thoughts for a bit and then write down a list for yourself starting with I want to be...
As an example, my list narrowed down to this:
I want to be....
Loved
A healer
An entertainer
Secure
An adventurer
A goddess
Independent
An explorer
An original
Free
A supporter of dream
An inspiration
Upon reflection, I can honestly say that every goal I've ever felt passionate about rooted from this list. Without realizing it, I had made most of my life choices from this list.
By identifying your true motivations and desires, it becomes easier to find direction in life. Now we know where your goals come from. What's the root beneath your dreams? There is no right or wrong answers, just ideas at the core of you. We could probably analyze what in your past makes you want to become the things you put on your list. We could analyze how close you are to being all of the things you've listed. It's not important. What matters is that now you know what it is you're aspiring to become.
Now it may seem to you that most of the things you had originally dreamed of creating were gifts you would share with others. You were going to put the kids through school. You were going to go on more vacations with your spouse. You were going to share your music with the world. You didn't think you were being selfish. And you're right. You were not being selfish. It's just that everything we do serves us in some way. Every gift we give is every bit a gift to ourselves also. You give the gift of a college education to your children and you give yourself the gift of being a good parent in your own eyes, or the gift of being a supporter of others in your own eyes. You get the gift of seeing yourself as a good person. Give the gift of music to the world and you get to see yourself as a musician. You get to be what it is that you want to be.
By acknowledging to yourself how you want to be seen and what you want to be remembered for, you get in touch with your true purpose and what it is that drives you. Don't beat yourself up if you find that you want to be something that might sound stuck up or egotistical. It's okay to want to be liked, admired, respected. It's not like your root motivation is to be envied, or to be superior to everyone else. It's okay to want to be attractive, intelligent, prosperous. We've convinced ourselves somewhere along the way that it's somehow wrong or evil to want to be wonderful or to be successful. The truth is, most of us would give back in appreciation for our successes. Most of us would spend more time with our loved ones. Most of us would give to charity. Most of us would do more volunteer work if we really had the time and the means. Nobody ever writes down I want to be... greedy, selfish, and spoiled. We want to be positive wonderful things so that we can share our positive wonderful gifts with each other. Give yourself permission to become whatever it is on your list that really resonates within your heart.
Copyright 2003, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge
Skye Thomas began writing books and articles with an everyday practical approach to life in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, and parenting. After years of high heels and business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her pajamas. Go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net to read more of her articles and to get a free preview of one of her books.
Finding Your Inner Flame: Finding Passion Series - 3 of 3Skye ThomasFinding Your Inner Flame
Finding Passion Series - 3 of 3
Why is it that some goals have a fire and a passion behind them that creates an almost self-propelled drive towards completion, while other goals are left dead in the water before they've hardly even begun? What causes that level of motivation to manifest itself? Can we harness it? Can we predict when and where it will hit? The answers lie in finding out if the person setting the goal is in touch with his or her own deepest desires. Do they really understand who and what they are? Do they really know what it is that drives them?
Write down a list of goals and dreams you've set for yourself over the years. Take a nice long trip down memory lane. Think about the kinds of goals and dreams you set for yourself when you were a child, a teenager, a young adult. Look at what kinds of goals you began listing when you became a spouse, a parent, an employee, or a boss. Don't worry if you can't remember every single goal you've ever set for yourself. Don't make the assignment into a research project and a headache. But I do want you to spend a bit of time with it.
Now that you have your list of old goals and dreams, make some kind of a checkmark or run a highlighter over the ones that had a strong powerful effect on you and you couldn't possibly put them down. These are most likely the ones that you accomplished. If you didn't accomplish them, do they still haunt you? Do they still beg to be completed? Don't start counting and keeping score as to how many you followed through to the finish and how many you let drop aside. It really doesn't matter at all what kind of a success rate you may or may not have had before today. This isn't about that, I just want you to separate the ones that did put a fire in your belly from the ones that had no fire or passion behind them.
Now, take your list of positive traits and attributes from Finding Yourself and compare it to your list of old goals and dreams. How many of the goals that had you all fired up were somehow connected to the wonderful things we found are within you? If for example, you found out that one of your positive traits is that you are intelligent, then how many of the goals you were really passionate about involved using your intelligence? How many of them were about developing or enhancing your intelligence? If you found out that you are funny, how many of the goals and dreams that you loved were somehow connected to your sense of humor?
Okay, now do the same thing with your list of things you want to be from Finding Direction. How many of those goals appealed to the roots of who or what you want to become? If you want to be remembered as adventurous, then how many goals from your past were centered around an adventurous spirit? How many of the goal you were really excited about made you feel or appear to be adventurous? If your desire is to be financially secure, then how many of your most passionate dreams were wrapped around that concept? How many of them promised to push you in that direction?
You're probably starting to get the point. The items on those first two lists spark the flame of passion needed to carry out goals and dreams. The more items from both lists that you bring into play, the more motivated you will be to finish the goal involved. Each item adds more and more of your own personal drive and inspiration to the dream. Naturally, the reverse is true too. If you had few or even none of the items from the first two lists involved in a goal or dream, you probably gave up and quit out of boredom. If it was a very important goal with a lot of guilt or pressure forcing you to do it, like going to college when you really didn't want to, then you probably struggled a lot and really had to force yourself to stay focused and motivated. You probably found yourself saying that you ought to complete that goal or that you should complete that goal. The other thing that can happen is that some outside person like your folks or a boss was hanging over your head telling you that you ought to do it or that you should do it. Only those goals that contained your own personal drive and focus were a joy to complete and had a motivation all their own that nobody else needed to spur you along.
With this information in mind, you can really look at a list of current projects you're working on and see how many of them appeal to who or what it is that you want to be and how many of them allow you to really utilize your favorite traits about yourself. Is there enough of your own personal drive behind them to insure that you go the long haul and finish them? Do you need to redesign them so that they will touch your heart in such a way as to empower you with excitement and joy to keep going through the difficult or tedious parts? If you really have to do something that you don't want to, is there a way to bring pieces of those two lists into it so that you can tolerate the task in a different light?
You should be able to evaluate your future plans against these two lists and get a fairly accurate prediction as to whether or not you're really going to stick to it. Then you can invest your time and energy in things that serve you and your need to become someone that you feel is wonderful.
Copyright 2003, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge
Skye Thomas began writing books and articles with an everyday practical approach to life in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, and parenting. After years of high heels and business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her pajamas. Go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net to read more of her articles and to get a free preview of one of her books.
Finding Yourself: Finding Passion Series - 1 of 3Skye ThomasFinding Yourself
Finding Passion Series - 1 of 3
We have been told that the things we don't like in our children are the same things we don't like in ourselves. We are told that we project our own flaws and issues onto our perceived enemies in an attempt to work them out within ourselves. We stereotype people according to who they hang out with. Birds of a feather flock together. We're attracted to people like ourselves, with the same flaws.
To carry the concept further, those traits and attributes that we admire in our heroes are within us. Just as with our flaws, we are simply projecting our virtues onto others in an attempt to work them out within ourselves. We are attracted to certain people because they reflect our own aspects back at us. What's that mean?
Let's start with an exercise. Without regards to a persons looks or what they do for a living, think about the people that you've admired in your life. On a piece of paper, write down a list of people that have inspired you. Who has touched your heart? Who were your heroes? Make it as long or as short as you like. Which teachers, athletes, movie characters, and politicians have motivated you? Who makes your heart feel warm and enthusiastic?
When you've finished writing down your list of heroes, shift gears and think about the traits they have that you admire so much. Are they compassionate, steadfast, loyal, happy, determined, or laidback? Go through each person on your list one at a time and spend some time thinking about their virtues. What makes them so special that you put them on your list of heroes? As you reflect on these people and their attributes, list the various traits on a separate piece of paper. Place check marks beside those that get more than one 'vote.'
My lists looked like this:
Mother
Daughter
Son
Victoria (minister)
Jennifer (best friend)
Jon (doctor friend)
Mother Teresa
Princess Diana
Daniel (musician friend)
Simone (artist friend)
Vivian Leigh
Ron (director friend)
Albert Einstein
No worries about money ////////
Giving //////////
Kindness //////////
Loyal ///////
Joyful attitude //////
Self-confidence ///////
Intelligence //////////
Sense of humor ///////
Follows dreams /////////
Believes in he Force ///////////
Not a quitter //////////
After you've written your two lists, sit with them for a while and reflect on the possibility that those traits on your list might actually be present inside you. The reason you love them so much in others is because it's a piece of yourself that you're connecting to. If you were living up to your full potential, wouldn't you be a lot more like the people you admire? Is it hard to believe that the things on your list could possibly be the greatness in yourself? Ask some caring relatives or friends to look over your list and see if it matches their image of you. I think you'll be surprised.
When I did this exercise back in 1998, I had my children do it too. We sat around the kitchen table and did it together as a family activity. My daughter was eight years old at the time and found that she is giggly, nice, giving, kind, a great friend, smart, funny, and loving. She already knew that, but enjoyed the confirmation. My son suffered a lot of emotional insecurities at the time because he'd been misdiagnosed as having Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. He was shocked to find that he is ice follows dreams, strong, giving, active, fast, smart, playful, loving, funny, believes in 'the Force,' laughfull, fun, and brave. I had been telling him for years that he possessed those qualities but he thought I was prejudice because I'm his mom. He began making a huge turn around in his emotional well-being by acknowledging these wonderful traits within himself. I found the strength to start my own business and to finally pursue a career as a motivational speaker and writer.
At the time, it was pretty easy to tell myself that I am giving, kind, loyal, intelligent, and believe in 'the Force.' On the other hand, I really struggled with the concepts that I had no worries about money, a joyful attitude, self-confidence, and a sense of humor. I wanted desperately to be like that, but I didn't think I really followed dreams and I wasn't too sure that I wasn't a quitter after all. Over the years, I have learned many lessons and have experienced enough of the truth of this to know that yes I am exactly those things on that list. I have also learned that the things I most despised in others was indeed the things I wanted to work on in myself. The rule really does apply in both directions.
As I've been writing this article, I've been thinking about what it would be like to re-do the exercise now. Would my children's lists be different? Would mine? I think my children's lists would reflect a more adult perspective, but I think they'd still show most of the same traits. I might add some new names to my list, but I suspect that I would come up with a very similar list of traits. We might uncover more traits, but I doubt that we'd remove any. It's most likely that the traits follow us throughout our lives. It reminds me of that old saying, wherever you go, there you are.
In finding our good traits, we uncover our true potential. We have something to live up to. We can measure our conduct and choices against the list. How much of our inner-struggle, like my son's, comes from not realizing our gifts? How much comes from realizing our potential and not living up to it? How much easier is life when we are behaving in accordance with our list of virtues? How much better do we feel about ourselves? How much better do others treat us when we live by these traits?
Copyright 2003, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge
Skye Thomas began writing books and articles with an everyday practical approach to life in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, and parenting. After years of high heels and business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her pajamas. Go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net to read more of her articles and to get a free preview of one of her books.
Jesus' Birthday: Sacred Children Series - 2 of 3Skye ThomasJesus' Birthday
Sacred Children Series - 2 of 3
I had visions of my daughter for about five years before she finally showed up. She turned out exactly like the little girl in my dreams who had haunted me all that time. I was so very glad to see that she was alive and real. I always thought she must somehow be more magical and special then other normal kids.
Her older brother had told her about reincarnation when she was only two years old. She would later yell at me during her tantrums, Next time I'm born, I'm not gonna be your daughter!!! I'd always laugh at her and say, Oh yes you will! You have to be my daughter forever and ever! She'd storm off to her room until she was done being angry about whatever it is that little girls get angry about.
She always acted like an old woman who was wiser than my son and I were. We had just sort of gotten used to the baby in the family behaving as the old one. When she was three she asked me one day, Do you know why I was late?
As I continued messing with my makeup and fixing my hair in the bathroom mirror I asked her, Late for what?
For being born.
She had been due on Christmas Eve and instead had decided to show up on New Year's Eve. Why were you late?
Well, She replied quite matter of factly. It was Jesus' birthday and I didn't want to leave early.
I was a bit taken aback, Who told you about Jesus? I'm not a traditional Christian and hadn't told my children anything about the traditional organized religions yet. We didn't have any family or friends around who would have told her of such things. How in the world did she know about Jesus?
Jesus is my friend. He lives in heaven with Michael and Cracker.
Who's Michael and Cracker?
She looked at me like I was silly for not knowing as she said, Michael's my friend. He's going to help me find my new dad. Cracker is a clown and goes like this. With that she started rolling around and doing somersaults and trying to do cartwheels. Then she stopped and looked up at me and said, They're still up in heaven playing with Jesus. When I get done with this life, I'm going back up there to play and I'm not coming down again.
Why? Don't you like it here?
With a rather bored look on her face she said, Yeah, but I've already learned all my lessons and I only came because you wanted me to.
Are you upset that I pulled you away from your friends?
No, I love you, so I came back. But I'm just not coming back again after I'm all done helping you this time. With that, we pretty much established that she was indeed the old soul caretaker of the family. We kind of already knew that.
Over the next couple of years, she would prove over and over that Michael was helping her to find her new dad. I was a single parent longing for my soulmate to come find me. In reference to my love life, she knew things she had no business knowing. She was told about things before they happened. Michael was always telling her secrets about the men I was dating. Michael was always right. She seemed a bit bored by the whole thing.
She made me believe that Jesus must have been real. I had never really been quite sure until my three year old talked of him without ever having been taught of him. She seemed so self-assured and at peace with the concept. She never spoke of God, just of her buddies and how they all loved to play together. She missed them dearly and yet she was never really alone. I would find her playing with Cracker and Michael in her room all of the time. It was all very different from her brother who had an imaginary playmate for a short time. She didn't have to sit and think about it. She didn't giggle as she played at having conversations with them. She was at peace with the fact that they were as real as her brother and me. Michael was her favorite and he was the one who told her precognitive things on a frequent basis.
I wasn't surprised that a child of mine would have a friend named Michael who told her things about the future. He was a member of our family until the ladies at the preschool told her that Michael wasn't real and she believed them. Once they convinced her that he wasn't real, she quit seeing him. At this point in time, she's not yet convinced herself that he's real and therefore still doesn't see or hear him anymore. A side effect they probably didn't consider when telling her that Michael was only make believe, is that she no longer hears or sees or emembers Jesus anymore either. By taking her best friend in the spiritual world away from her, they also took Jesus away from her. It broke my heart to see her turn away from Michael.
Now that she's older, she's a little bitter about it all. She wants to reconnect with Michael, Cracker, and Jesus, but she just doesn't believe in it all anymore. I tell her that someday, when she's ready, they'll come back to her. They're still here. She hopes I'm right. She's always seemed a bit unsure of herself since losing that deep and amazing spiritual connection with them. She is still a caretaker by nature, but her soul doesn't seem quite so old and wise anymore. She may not remember, but I hold the memories for her. The one thing I've learned about guardian angels is that they always look over us whether we believe in them or not.
Copyright 2003, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge
Skye Thomas began writing books and articles with an everyday practical approach to life in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, and parenting. After years of high heels and business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her pajamas. Go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net to read more of her articles and to get a free preview of one of her books.
No Invitation Needed: Sacred Children Series - 3 of 3Skye ThomasNo Invitation Needed
Sacred Children Series - 3 of 3
I had my first two children on either side of my twenty-third and twenty-fifth birthdays. I had always assumed that by the time I was forty, I'd have a ton of freedom to finally push forward with my dreams of becoming a motivational writer and speaker. It really looked like that was the way my life was going to go too.
I fell in love with a man when I was in my mid-thirties and he was in his mid-forties. We were very much in love and planning to get married. I actually found myself wishing I could have his baby. I hadn't felt like that in many years. We were discussing whether or not to have a child together. We both loved the idea, but we were also looking at the reality of our lives, our finances, our circumstances, and especially our ages. Was this really something to even consider so late in the game? Could we say yes to another child? Could we say no?
As it turned out, I got pregnant despite using two forms of birth control before we could even make up our minds if we were going to have a child together or not. We decided that it must be fate that we'd have one more. We agreed that I'd work from home on my writing career while carrying our child. I was nervous about having a baby when I was so involved in my work, but I was also so grateful that the decision had been made by a higher power than me.
I had been talking with guardian angels for many years by that time and felt a spiritual calling to become a writer and to tell the stories that my angels wanted told. I had been told which books to write and was working on an outline for one of them when a little voice whispered to me. It told me to go lay down on the couch and meditate because it had something to tell me. I thought it was one of my angels, so I raced over to the couch to hear what they had to say to me.
The entity told me that he was my unborn child. I saw a vision of a darling two-year-old boy with magical eyes. He looked at me like he had delicious little secrets. He said that he was going to be a boy and that we used to know him as Michael. He then told me what his new name would be. He also assured me that when they ran the tests to check for birth defects, that I'd see that he was going to be strong and healthy. I had nothing to worry about.
After the vision was over, I looked up the name he'd given me in the baby names books. His name is an old Celtic name meaning fiery. That made me laugh aloud. His father and I both have a decent amount of Irish blood in our heritage, and we both have always dreamed of going to Ireland to see the castles. Our very first conversation was about Ireland. Our relationship was very heated and passionate. Of course our son would have a Celtic name meaning fiery! When I told his dad that night, he agreed the name fit perfectly. Who are we not to call him by the name he chose for himself?
About a month later we started having ultrasounds and amniocentesis. At one point they saw something in one of the ultrasounds that made them suspect the baby might have birth defects. We would have to have all kinds of tests to make sure the baby was going to be okay. The tests confirmed that yes, I was having another boy and yes he was perfectly healthy and wonderful. As time went on during the pregnancy, he would come talk to me again and again. He was always reassuring me that everything was going to be okay.
One Sunday morning, my minister was talking to us about Deepak's Law of Detachment. I heard my son snicker and tell me that today we would be practicing the law of detachment from each other. He would be born that day. Sure enough, late that night as I lay in bed reading, the contractions started and my darling and I detached from each other. He was born with the cord wrapped around his little neck three times and it was a bit unsettling to see my sweetheart as my favorite color of purple. Within moments he was a strong and vibrant charmer.
He's been a rather high maintenance kind of guy. He is fiery. He is not the kind of guy who waits to be invited into life. He will show up when and where he chooses. You wouldn't think there was such a huge age difference between him and my older two children. He bosses everyone around as if he were the grand king of the universe. It makes perfect sense that he didn't allow his parents to choose whether or not he would exist and he wouldn't even let them choose his name.
He's turning out to be exactly who he said he was. A week before his second birthday, I noticed that he had the same hair and eyes as that little boy who came to see me in the vision that day. His eyes were all lit up and magical as he smiled at me in a way that made me think he knew a bunch of delicious little secrets. He laughed and said, lub you as he threw his arms around my neck. I whispered, Michael to see what he'd do, since it's not his name. He looked me straight in the eyes with an all-knowing look as he repeated it back to me. It was such an odd and eerie moment.
What secrets do you hold, my angel?
Copyright 2003, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge
Skye Thomas began writing books and articles with an everyday practical approach to life in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, and parenting. After years of high heels and business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her pajamas. Go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net to read more of her articles and to get a free preview of one of her books.
Reincarnation: Sacred Children Series - 1 of 3Skye ThomasReincarnation
Sacred Children Series - 1 of 3
Many years ago, my children were raised on the various teachings and concepts of magic as I was studying different religions and spiritual beliefs. I had come across many metaphysical teachings woven throughout most of the different religions. It was very important to me that they stay authentic and real. I didn't want them to ever allow anyone to convince them to be something other than the beautiful souls they already were. They took to the metaphysical teachings quite easily and naturally. Often they already knew whatever it was I had thought I was going to teach them.
My four-year-old son asked me one morning, Where did I live before I got into your tummy to be born. He naturally assumed that he'd always existed despite his lack of memory about life before being born. It was just after Valentine's Day and I reminded him of those cupid style angel babies that we had seen in the stores. We had both really like all of the statues, greeting cards, and pictures of the little cherubs. I told him that he was one of those little baby angels up in heaven before I got pregnant with him.
He asked if his younger sister had been a cherub too. Yes, of course. He then double checked to make sure they had been hanging out up in heaven together waiting to come down. He seemed satisfied with the idea that his little sister and him had both played together as little winged babies in up in heaven waiting for their turn to be born.
My son had heard the stories of how I had seen visions of his sister for five years before she finally came into our lives. He wanted to know if I'd had visions of him too. No, just this one dream where you were running around peeing on everything. However just because I didn't see you ahead of time doesn't mean that you aren't a wonderful and amazing gift in my life. It doesn't mean that I don't love you just the same as if I had seen you coming ahead of time. He sat there nodding his head with this wise old man's expression on his face as he thought for awhile.
When he spoke next, I almost laughed aloud at his reasoning. So, he wanted to know, didn't this all mean that he was faster than his sister and had bested her in yet another race? After all, he'd beat her by two whole years. Yeah, I chuckled at where his mind had gone with it all, I guess you did. With that he ran off to rub it in her face. He always took such pride in being bigger, faster, and older than her. As far as he was concerned, it was proof that yet again, he was faster than her.
Later that evening he came back to ask me some more questions, So, if I was in heaven before I got into your tummy and I'm going back again after I die, then can I come back again and again if I want to?
There are some people who say yes you can and there are some people who say no you can't. They say you only get one turn at life.
Is it okay with you if I come back again?
Yeah sure, I shrugged, if you want to. I don't see why not.
I can come back and live again and again if I want to?
It's okay with me. You can come back as many times as you want. It's really up to you.
With a worried look on his face he asked, Will you be my mom every time?
Yes, of course, honey. I'll always be your mom forever and ever.
His face lit up with relief at the reassurance that I'd always be here for him. Then he asked, So next time, can we be farmers?
No, absolutely not.
He did his best to argue the point, but he never could convince me to become a farmer. I always told him that I was tired of working that hard and that I wanted to play more in my next life. He enjoyed a childhood in which he believed that he could be anything and everything he could dream of. He never worried about running out of time, because he had so many lifetimes to fill.
Over the years, he's asked many big cosmic questions about spiritual and paranormal topics. How is it that sometimes we see visions of things before they happen? How is it that we can talk to guardian angels that we can't see and yet we can hear answers? How come not everyone hears them? Who's in charge? Why is it that the religions are all so much alike and yet people fight so much over which one's exactly right? Who's right? How is it he could have memories of being an adult Native American warrior when he was only a young boy? Why is their music so haunting? How come he sees Celtic symbols in his dreams at night sometimes? Why is he so attached to the falcons?
He's in high school now and has studied many different belief systems. He's not so sure now that reincarnation is how it all works. He's open to different beliefs, but as a rather scientific type, he's really quite skeptical and requires a lot of proof. I encourage him to do his own research and find proof as to what really happens after we die. He hasn't really studied religions for quite some time now because he's far more interested in studying girls and bass guitars. I'm not too worried about it because I know that the seeds of spirituality were firmly planted in his upbringing and at some point in his future he will again look towards the heavens for answers as to where he was before he was born.
Copyright 2003, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge
Skye Thomas began writing books and articles with an everyday practical approach to life in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, and parenting. After years of high heels and business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her pajamas. Go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net to read more of her articles and to get a free preview of one of her books.
